Merry f$%^&*#@ Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Santa's heard it all before. "Santa! Santa! I
want stuff! Give me more STUFF!" I tell ya what,
all that thankless consumerism is really starting
to give old Santa a rash. You all seem to think
that Santa exists for no other reason than to bust
his ass every Christmas just so you can get the
latest bit of tawdry crap you saw on your teevee
last night. Christ!
Well, when it comes down to it, Santa will
probably end up giving in (Santa always has been a
softy); but Santa ain't gonna' like it!
You might ask yourself how Santa copes. I'll let
you in on a little secret: the answer is "barely".
Ho ho ho! (Santa really busts himself up.) Anyway,
Santa always finds it therapeutic to blow off a
little steam during the "shopping" season by
getting together with all his fellow Santas...
(What? you didn't think there was just one of us?
For the entire planet?! What a rube!) ...Anyway,
like Santa was saying, Santa likes to get together
with his mates and head on out on bicycle (to keep
Santa's girlish figure) for a bit of pre-season
Merry Making. Santa invariably does a bit of
drinking and, well, sometimes things get a
wee out of hand. Deal with it. It's
Santa. If you complain, ya won't get nuttin' but
coal in your stocking. (lousy ingrate)
So check out the
calendar
for the info on when we'll be getting together.
Come on out and buy Santa a drink.
